"I am Outraged Womanhood"*

I wish I lived in a world where it was COMMON to feel respected by men. I wish I lived in a world where this was the norm, this was the base accepted policy: that women were people with brains and feelings and they weren't interesting to men simply because they had sufficient sexual organs and attractive physical features perfect for using and discarding....like objects. This whole dating thing has left me a little disheartened. I hardly ever date and it becomes nearly impossible to trust new people when so many of them seem to want me as an object. It is terrifying to my mind, heart and soul that so many men see me as a skirt they can spend ten dollars on and screw. I am not a commodity. I am not a thing. I am a person.

I've always considered myself a feminist, insomuch that I believe in equal rights for all. I've always considered this my truth, but I've never felt so small as I have lately. I've never felt so personally and so politically offended than I have of late. I'm not actually talking about some crazy politician or his insane remarks on the female body or rape, although a lot of this circulating in the news has been infuriating and terrifying and of course a topic of discussion. I'm simply talking about the way men treat me. I'm embarrassed for the world I live in. I'm embarrassed that I can't go downtown in my own city (which I love) in heels and a short skirt and dance. I can't do that without loathing the human race. I don't want to hear excuses like "men are scum" or "they think all girls at those clubs are looking to hook up" or "that's what people do at those clubs." I don't care WHERE I am or HOW I'm dressed. I want to live in a world where people treat me like a person. No matter what. I hear my own voice in my head saying "You're asking for too much," And at the same time, I'm replying "No. I'm not." It's not just about America. It's just not about downtown. It's not about men hitting on me in bars. It's not about "how hard it is to be pretty." This is about humanity and I'm a person. I deserve to be treated like one. We all do. And I'm sick of apologizing for asking for more. I'm not doing it any more. If this is what I'm supposed to expect and put up with because "that's just how it is", well frankly that's just not good enough for me.

I have no qualms with men and women who want to embark upon casual relationships or flings or one night stands. That can be great if it's what you're looking for, and I wish everybody safety (and caution) and a good time. However I just can't help but feel offended when it seems that everywhere I go, men want one thing from me and don't even care if they get to know me. I'm sure good men exist, after all I'm friends with some very good ones. But the fact that I'm a female stranger shouldn't automatically place me in the category of "potential meaningless sex" right? Even if chemically, a man can't help thinking about it, does he have to treat me that way?

The downtown example is simply that: an example. The trouble isn't this one instance, the trouble is that it is self repeating and this evening I speak of was just a tiny sample out of all the downtowns and all the people and all the men in the world. I know this frustration isn't new and my circumstances are far less dire than those facing countless women worldwide. Perhaps I'm being silly and overreacting.
All I  know is, my heart is heavy and my brain is tired and I can't go on pretending I don't mind being objectified to my own face.

*The Great Dorothy Parker. If she were living today, I wonder what she'd think.

The Healing Powers of Hepburn

Art by Cecila Sanchez

 When I say Hepburn I refer to Audrey Hepburn first and Katharine second. Both of them are my imaginary best friends in their unique ways though truly Audrey was my first love. When I was younger I watched her movies over and over in an almost religious fashion. And over five years ago when I went through my first heartbreak over my first love I probably watched Breakfast at Tiffany's at least four times a week. Even if I was sometimes awoken by the party scene when Audrey yells "TIMBERRR!" as Mag Wildwood drunkenly falls to the floor with a resounding thunk, the melodies of Henry Mancini lulled me to sleep and comforted me. Something about Audrey Hepburn being graceful and beautiful and silly. Her simple glamour, her spirit. This legendary woman I never met who lived through WWII as a child and transported messages to the Allies and ate bread made of grass and studied ballet but became a movie star. She was famous but she seemed like a friend. A beautiful friend who picked me up and told me to walk out the door looking fabulous and somehow everything would be okay. Strange that a movie star, portraying a character in a movie, could somehow cheer me up the way people I knew in real life couldn't.

And today, when I didn't want to get out of bed, I put on Breakfast at Tiffany's again. The notes of Moon River, her back to the camera, her giant hair. Givenchy. One of the most beautiful dresses ever designed. This beautiful woman. This imperfect character, all alone, eating a Danish. And suddenly, again, I know everything's going to be all right. Somehow. It's a piece of art. A piece of fiction. It's Hollywood and it's "just" a movie...but something about it is my gospel, and I am forever thankful for the fantasies that get me out of bed each day. I'm going to go put on some make up and go to work. I hope whoever reads this is having a lovely day. I'm going to be okay, and so are you.

Let's Do This...Let's Talk Jane Austen

Jane Austen is timeless because her stories are about women struggling with friendships, family, and of course, men. Every year somewhere some woman writes an article on Jane Austen for some lady mag like Vanity Fair or Cosmo and every year it's true: Jane Austen understands us. She tells it like it is. No we're not all still obsessed with marriage and we live in a different world in terms of law and career and we don't need men to SURVIVE. But most of us still like to dream about romance...to dream about someone who will be a gentleman. Also she simply writes about real people that we all know. The fact that these novels were written two hundred years ago is so beautiful to me. So much has changed in terms of technology and the way we court each other and live our lives. However, the human being is much the same, and the way we feel and interact person-to-person remains unaltered.

Sometimes I nerd out because some of these stories feel like looking in a mirror. Do you ever feel like Elizabeth Bennet and you're surrounded by Mr. Collinses? I do. Or you're Emma and he is Definitely an Elton and she is Definitely a Mrs. Elton? Me too. Or you are crying over some son of %^& bastard and you realize you really are being ridiculous....you're being a Marianne Dashwood, and you know deep down you'll get over this. Even though that Willoughby was terribly entertaining for a while. Yes, yes, yes.

I'm probably the billionth lady to ever think and say all this. It's nothing new, but sometimes you have to celebrate something, even when it's old.

First Ever Guest Post: Embracing the Vintage Glam in Times of Trouble

The ever-confident and inspiring Mae West.

A couple of months ago, I was contacted by Jackie Clark, who does outreach for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. She asked if she could write a guest post on the topic of women faced with cancer. I've clearly been lazy about this blog, but this seemed like a really good reason to post again. I hope her article inspires whoever stops by, and that you check out Jackie's other articles. Thanks, Jackie!

How Vintage Fashion can be a Source of Comfort and Strength

By Jackie Clark

A cancer diagnosis can be a horrible jolt to a once-peaceful life. It is important for a woman to do things to stay positive at this time. A strong focus on recovery can help you through strenuous treatment, and you may want to indulge special interests at this time.

Vintage fashion can offer not only exquisite outfits to wear, but also serve as a source of comfort. A favorite silk-lined wrap, for example, may bring fond memories of your mother. These comforting thoughts can help ease the stress, particularly in more severe cancer cases such as mesothelioma from asbestos exposure.

Treatments can drain every ounce of energy from you. At this time, you need to rest to regain strength for the next round of treatment. Different sites online can help you indulge your vintage fashion fantasies as you review styles, possibly for purchase. You may find, for example, original Coco Chanel coats for sale through an online vendor. You may then want to search for matching shoes and a purse. You can do all of this from the comfort of home without even leaving your bed. This may do wonders for your spirit as the images take your mind off your condition.

If you love this type of fashion, then the pieces you wear remain a constant expression of yourself that won’t change, even as your body and health may experience radical upheaval from the treatment. In the spirit of fashion, you can try different things to enhance your look as you make the side effect of hair loss work for you. This is your chance to go blonde if you are a brunette, for example. In doing so, you keep fighting to maintain your positive mental outlook to help you get through tough treatment.

These elements of fashion can take you back to a time that was simpler, or remind you of relatives long gone. You may have inherited pencil skirts from your mom or grandmother that remain stylish today. If one of them lost a battle with cancer, you may want to wear their heirloom clothing to show that the fight continues. Their struggles also may remind you how far we have come with medical advances in cancer treatment.

Vintage fashion can serve many purposes beyond making a visual statement. These pieces can keep you tied to those you loved in your life, and remind you to treasure every moment. Vintage quality and style can give you a source of comfort as it offers you something familiar to cling to when surrounded by new and unfamiliar settings. The clothing can give you the confidence to feel beautiful and appreciate every day for its special gifts of life.

Vera Ellen EXPLOSION

So it's been one of those days where I planned to be good and get a lot of practical things done and somehow all I've done is swallow lots of tea and play on the computer and listen to an amazing Liza Minnelli record. OH WELL. Anyway the internet led me to some Vera Ellen stalking and she really is Amazing. Clearly from my blog, you can see I like her, but I feel I need to see more of her movies. She was just such a killer dancer, and so adorable, and she had some Fantastic costumes. Let's gush over her amazingness now, shall we? Oh yes, let's.

Ramble on Womanhood and Beauty, whatever that is.

I was sitting here looking over some photos I took recently and considering the angles on one (somewhat unflattering in my opinion) and my face in another (black and white, my hair and make up done..I think I look a bit lovely, honestly). I start thinking about beauty (that huge monster of a word) and the way women think of themselves in regard to it. It makes me so sad to think how some women constantly belittle themselves over this ridiculous idea that to be pretty or beautiful they must look like someone else, that being themselves, that the faces and bodies they were given are second-rate, are wrong. Maybe I was raised with insanely supportive parents (very likely). From an early age I was constantly complimented by my parents as well as strangers. I wasn't the Smartest or a baby pageant queen (thank goodness) but I was sharp and was a pretty good kid, and despite the angsty middle school years when I lost weight and the awkward high school years when I desperately craved a love life, I never felt ugly. Yes, I have days where I'm blue and I cry and look in the mirror and despise myself, but those days pass and for the most part, I like the way I look, and I like to dress myself in a way that makes my individuality even more pronounced.

I've always felt that in order to survive in this world, I need to feel that I am the absolute best at being myself. That no one can be Margaux as well as I can (granted I'm aware there are others with my name, even my spelling...you know what I'm saying). I may be goofy or awkward or shy sometimes. I may get runs in my stockings, my make-up may run, my nails may be short, I may be a lowly restaurant girl, saving my pennies, but at the end of the day I have to believe that there's something perfect about all my imperfections, even when my nose looks like a 747 from certain angles, and even when I notice the size of my thighs.

After all, Audrey Hepburn and loads of other women became famous because why? Because they were a little bit Different. If you embrace what makes you unusual or out of style, you become a trendsetter. This is why I wish more women could just love what makes them weird, think of it as a gift, not a curse! We think of beauty as something universal and unchanging, but it is just another form of fashion, and I don't care who you are, you're beautiful BECAUSE you're different, not despite that.

PS Sorry I got all Oprah.

You can drink like Dita...

http://www.ditasdomain.com/cointreau/

But can you look as fabulous? Every single time I go Dita-stalking around the internet, I fall in love with her all over again and am newly inspired to look as ridiculously decadent as I can every day, the way she does.

"As I said, Betty Grable was a big influence because she had this way about her both onscreen and off that made her sexy AND likeable. … She was a real “girls’ girl” and therefore she had a lot of female fans but was still a sex symbol. A lot of sex symbols become someone women are afraid of … the “man-eater” quality makes us afraid of them! There’s nothing better than a beautiful, talented woman who respects other women."-Dita Von Teese Read the full article here.

I have to say I completely agree with her.

This picture marks the first time I've not been 300% in LOVE with her ensemble. That being said, I adore that she's wearing something a little kooky for a change-it reminds me a little of myself. I guess feel a little more legitimate about the silly things I wear when I see her wearing fun silly clothes, too.

1960s LADY EXPLOSION

So I'm a part of Trek in the Park again this year, and since this is a show which recreates episodes of the original Star Trek, I love trying to do my hair and make up somewhat 60s-inspired. My hair is not very thick and I still haven't succumbed to buying a hair piece so I end up doing a lot of teasing, which I know is bad...but...oh well! I've been grazing the internet in search of good ideas and then I thought it would be fun to organize these and share them!

Firstly, I've been looking at youtube make-up tutorials from my favorite, Pixiwoo. Namely, the Edie Sedgewick and the Raquel Welch. I don't have good make up brushes so I feel pretty ridiculous-looking while trying the Edie. I think tomorrow, I shall go Raquel instead.

And now lots of pictures with hair/make up ideas.

Ms. Fonda.

Katharine Ross.

Twiggy.

Sophia Loren.

Anna Karina.

Barbra.

And because a style list is not a style list without Audrey...

In which we try to inspire ourselves via Audrey Hepburn

I've been doing a lot of this lately...

I feel a little bad for not writing in this at ALL. I suppose few people read it and my silly little thoughts aren't that important to the internet at large, but I like keeping this blog kind of the way I like to keep diaries. The last year has seen me really move away from both of those hobbies and I'm not exactly sure why. I've been busy? Yes but usually I always found time in the past to come back and write or post ideas, etc. Maybe plays and school have sucked all my inspirational energy? Shrug. Anyway, on the note of school (graduation ceremony is in EXACTLY two months!!!!!!!!!!!^$^#%($#&@) I think I shall post some self-indulgent goals in order to pass all my classes, keep calm, cool, collected, and send good vibes out and all that jazz.

RULE 1

I will abstain from marathoning television series when I should be doing homework, etc.

-------I recently finished the second season of Doctor Who and I could start season three but the fear is that instead of letting it just be background, I'll end up watching it, and then suddenly days have passed and I keep clicking "play next episode."

RULE 2

I will do my math homework on campus after classes EVERY DAY.

RULE 3

I will NEVER skip class.....unless I am maybe out of town (whoops).

RULE 4

I will study for any and ALL tests beginning at MINIMUM two days in advance.

RULE 5

I will keep my room tidy so I may feel at one with the universe.

RULE 6

Yoga at least twice a week.

RULE 7

Imagine the best possible future...ie. great affordable apartment, job and maybe even a cat and a chaise longue-why not? It's my imagination. You never know what'll happen.

So I've got a lot of this to do...

Funny....I was just imagining my dream apartment and (I'm such a nostalgia-nerd) I was thinking about vintage refrigerators and how cute they are, and ice boxes, and then about how nowadays most people have huge fridges and it's normal. You really don't NEED that huge of a fridge unless you hunt game or buy everything at Costco.... la la la I'll shut up now.

But maybe after I graduate and become a real-life grown up,

I'll get myself a bathtub sofa!!!

Dream apartment idea...lifted from here

Playing Dress Up

I hadn't been to the Advanced Style blog in a long time and forgot how much I love it. I love the videos of older women discussing what it means to have personal style and to really take joy in dressing up. I think it's a forgotten art for a lot of women (and men) in America, these days. I'm not saying "BOO casual clothes." Today I put on yoga pants and sneakers (bright pink sneakers, but sneakers) and ran out the door. I'm just saying that I think as a society we've forgotten that it can actually be really Fun and fulfilling to put effort into dressing up. Maybe some people hate picking and wearing clothes. Tziporah in the video below says dressing is like eating and you can choose how well you do it. We're always on the go and every commercial is for fast food or microwave meals, and as a society, function and speed comes before slowly enjoying the little things. It transcends many spheres. Anyway, here's to growing older with dignity, grace and an authentic exuberance for enjoying life, whether through your wardrobe or whatever else.

The Girl Can't Help It

The Girl Can't Help It (1956)

Oh Womanhood. Jayne Mansfield was actually a very intelligent woman and I think it shows. Something about her demeanor in this ridiculous movie comes across. Her body may look like huge Marilyn pin-up competition but you can tell she's more than just a body. It's an entertaining film, if slightly creepy. It's dripping with 1950s stereotypes (men drooling over five million shots of her perfectly cinched in, curvaceous, bodacious bod), but the music is fantastic (performances by Little Richard and Abbey Lincoln, shown below, as well as others) and like I said, Mansfield adds a pinch of something human. I don't mean to bash Marilyn Monroe. I think she was beautiful and not at all untalented but she played such a dumb blonde sometimes, and as a woman, it's easy to feel sorry for her trapped in that character, and wish that she could have dropped that silly high-pitched voice and just acted normal for once.

Suggestive.....? I say so.

Suggestive? ......I say so.

Good Lord.

I read somewhere that this movie influenced John Lennon because of all the music.

Gorgeous lighting. Gorgeous lady. Gorgeous singing.

Also, terribly of note: you know how all your favorite new hip hop songs involve great little tunes/beats? Remember how you loved Kanye West's Golddigger and then realized it was kind of because of Ray Charles. This movie made me realize that Fergie ripped off Little Richard and THAT is why I love that one song she sings sort of kind of. No offense to modern musicians. Let's face it, oldies music kicks some majorly considerable arse.